Why do I have dreams about my ex?

In the dream, I found myself walking through a serene park, surrounded by colorful flowers and gentle sunlight. As I strolled along the peaceful path, a familiar face suddenly appeared before me—it was my ex. My heart skipped a beat as a rush of memories flooded my mind. Then I wake up and star thinking why do I have dreams about my ex?

Second scenario. Alert! this is the actual  dream of a dear friend who told it  to me 3 days ago! 

He grew up in  a house where there were a lot of fighting. Many years later, he walked by a house where people were arguing and next night he had dream where he fought with his ex . In his dream, he is in a peculiar world where the boundaries of reality were twisted and distorted. As he engaged in a fierce battle with his ex, the surroundings transformed into a surreal landscape. The house they fought in seemed to morph and shift, its walls pulsating with vibrant colors. The arguments echoed through the air, distorted into incomprehensible sounds. As with me, he wakes up next day and star thinking why do i have dreams about my ex?

This two dream experiences shows us something about the traces we have in our minds . When my friend was young, he felt scared, angry, and hurt when there was fighting at home. He didn’t like the fighting, which is a normal response, and this feeling left a mark in his mind. Decades later, when he hears fighting near the house, it triggers that old feeling and he has a dream about it.

Why do I have dreams about my ex with anger?

In the dream, the man reacts to his dream-partner’s provocation with anger and hurt. When the dream-partner, who is just a creation of his own mind, provokes him, he reacts with the same dislike as he did when he was a child. The dislike he feels in the dream becomes a new action that creates a new seed. When he wakes up negative emotions take hold of him. He feels distant and disconnected from his partner. To make things more complicated, his partner also reacts based on her own ingrained tendencies determined by karma. She may become short-tempered, withdrawn, apologetic, or submissive, and the man reacts negatively again, creating yet another seed.

A matter of emotions?

Dreams about your ex can be like a vivid and colorful canvas, showing different aspects of your emotions and experiences.

Any reaction to a situation, whether external or internal, when rooted in clinging or disliking, leaves a mark in the mind. Sometimes, dreams about ex-partners can reflect desires or needs that you haven’t fulfilled in your current life. Your mind might use the image of your ex as a colorful symbol for what you’re seeking or missing in your present circumstances.

These reactions sow more seeds, which then dictate more reactions, and so on. This is how karma leads to more karma. It is the cycle of action and reaction which we all experience. 

Why do I have dreams about my ex. A psychological process

Although this examples help you to understand “why do i have dreams about my ex” this psychological process, influences every aspect of existence. It shapes emotions, thoughts, perceptions, the body’s functioning, and the cause-and-effect dynamics of the external world. The action-reaction chain governs every aspect of experience, no matter how small or large.

So, thoughts, acts and dreams are like seeds. Just like seeds need the right conditions to sprout and grow, these traces manifest when the right situation arises. These are the secondary causes and conditions.

Thinking of karma as the process of cause and effect helps us understand that our choices in responding to any situation, whether internal or external, have consequences. Once we truly grasp that each karmic trace is a seed for more karmic actions, we can use this understanding to avoid creating negativity in our lives and instead create conditions that lead to positive influences. Alternatively, if we know how, we can let the emotions naturally dissolve as they arise, in which case no new karma is created.

So this is why I have dreams about my ex?

This is what many psychologist refer to as processing the breakup: Dreaming about your ex can also be a part of your healing journey after a breakup. It’s like a colorful therapy session where your subconscious mind helps you come to terms with the end of the relationship. 

If we let our emotions control our actions, it can lead to strong outcomes and reactions. Anger might cause fights or destruction, hurting others physically or emotionally. The same goes for fear, which can create stress and distance between people. These negative experiences leave traces that affect our future in a bad way.

Even if we hide or suppress our emotions, negative traces still remain.Even during sleep. So if you wonder why do I have dreams about my ex, realice that  suppressing is like pushing something inside us, locking it away in the dark. Eventually, it can come out unexpectedly when triggered by certain situations. For example, if we hide our jealousy, it might explode as an emotional outburst or turn into harsh judgments towards others we secretly envy, even if we don’t admit it to ourselves. Judging others in our minds is also an action rooted in aversion, creating negative karmic seeds.

Creating new responses

Instead of falling into these negative patterns or suppressing our emotions, we can pause and have a conversation with ourselves. We can choose to counteract the negative emotion by cultivating its antidote. When someone is angry with us and our own anger arises, the antidote is compassion. It may feel strange and fake at first, but if we realize that the person irritating us is also trapped in their own negative patterns due to their conditioning, we can start to feel compassion and let go of our negative reactions. By doing this, we shape a positive future for ourselves.

This new response, driven by our desire for goodness, peace, and spiritual growth, creates a positive trace. We plant the seed of compassion. The next time we face anger, we are more likely to respond with compassion, which is much more peaceful and open than the narrowness of anger driven by self-protection. Through practicing virtue like this, our response to the world gradually changes. We experience less internal and external anger. If we continue on this path, compassion will naturally arise without effort.

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